Saturday, January 29, 2011

Phantom Shifts

Phantom shifts, for me, aren't really shifts, since I almost always have ears, fur, and a tail present. However, they are the most frustrating shifts for me, as I feel them, and my mind tells me when they're moving or when they touch something, yet neither me nor anyone else can see them. I know they're there. But they aren't physically there.

Now, when I say "fur", I mean the scruffy fur on a wolf's shoulders. When I'm angry or afraid, I get the tinglies all up and down my shoulders all the way to the hairline by my forehead. I can only pin this as fur standing on end, like a canine does when it's threatened. It isn't goosebumps, because I'll check the mirror and see no bumps, but it feels almost exactly like it.

My tail is quite possibly the most helpful and annoying thing about me. I know it isn't physically there, but often times I find myself balancing better if I twist or swivel something back there. However, most times I'll sit on it and after a while, my tailbone (the human, physical one) goes all tingly, then completely numb, while my butt tenses up, cramps up, then falls asleep. So often times I'll have to readjust my sitting position, and sometimes have to move my tail with my mind.
On the topic of moving tails, I can wag it and if I'm laying on my side, I can thump it against the ground (or bed or whatever I'm laying on), which in turn tells that part of my brain that my tail is coming in contact with a surface. My mind provokes a memory of the sound a tail-thump makes, and I'll hear the noise somewhere in the back of my mind. It'll also sometimes wag when I'm happy without my own doing, or tuck between my legs when people yell.

Lastly, my ears (both the phantom and physical ones) will move in reaction to sounds. The phantom ones will react, which tells my mind that my ears are moving, which tells my physical ears to move. More often than the sound-reactions are the emotion-reactions. I remember recognizing my human ears reacting this way and being really shocked. It was right after my dad was yelling at me on account of chores, then as he dismissed me, I noticed that my human ears felt like they were tugged backwards, against my head. I shook my head, and they slowly moved back to a regular position. As they moved, my fear and feeling that I had let someone down faded as well.

So, anyone else have phantom shift stories? Times when they hit their tail on something, or gesture with a wing? =)

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