My Typical Day

Before any alarm reaches my ears, a very ansy canine is mentally pacing in my brain. She wakes up before the sun or my alarm and paces. Sometimes (like when I first awakened) she'll bark and when it's really important that I wake up, she'll howl. So, at 5 minutes before my alarm buzzes, I'll be awake and finding clothes for the day. I usually end up m-shifting (that's a shortened way to write 'mental shift') at night, and so in the morning, all my senses are buzzing. The eerie silence of my house, the smells that are being woken up as I move about the rooms, my eyes finding my way in the dark.

Rain will not calm down until I am fully awake and have eaten. She'll pace madly, then flash images in my head of deer and the woods and running. I'll sate her with cereal (though she's flashed images of bacon or sausage or a still-squirming deer, because cereal is gross to her) and continue on with my daily routine. Make my lunch, brush my hair, brush my teeth, then stumble out the door into the cold, dark mornings. That's when Rain is the happiest. Out in the quiet morning air. The sleepy time between 4 and 7 AM. Because the humans aren't motoring along and rushing off to meetings or McDonald's. She barely resists the bus (the only resentment is from the noise, is what I have gleaned from the images and mental noises). However, once we've arrived at school, things change.

You can't will away your therioside. Your wolf or tiger or bear or kitten or fish or beetle stays with you. Though I've named my wolf-side, technically, your animal-side is you. However, I've come to think of myself as two in one. Granted, it's my viewpoint, and I'm not saying it's the absolute norm or rule. Just remember, a therian's therioside stays with them.

And so, naturally, at school, Rain is with me. Fighting tooth and nail to leave. If it's a rough day, I'll m-shift. The giggling will sound like disgusting cackling.  Their makeup is caked grossly onto their faces, while too-red lips draw back into a bared-tooth snarl. Their speech is bothersome. They ask a question, and prompt a response, even though my body has given them one. A flick of the ear, a twitch of the tail, a shift of my eyebrows. But they don't see and I must answer with words.

On alright days, Rain's fleeting urges are suppressed. They're still there, haunting my thoughts, but I can ignore them. On days like today, we're in harmony. I can convince her to relax, and she'll lapse into a state of mental rest. Some days, I really wish I could just be completely wolf. But I can't because the woods near my house have a pathway run right through them, where people jog or walk their dogs frequently. So, I have to make due with m-shifting in my bedroom.

Rain will also relax around my "pack". My two best friends, who I can count on for anything. They make the wolf in me practically sing with joy when I'm with them. My one friend calls me the alpha, however, I really don't like that title. Sure, most of our get togethers are at my house, and they come to me for advice, but I've never controlled their lives or bossed them around. Rain doesn't mind this so much, simply because she sees the two as my "betas", and not as weaker or lesser beings. (Yes, certain humans make me want to pin them down and nip their neck, they're so disrespectful).

So, once I've finished for the day, gone to my classes, loaded back up on the yellow noise-machine, Rain is either exhausted or ansy all over again. So, I walk from my bus stop back home, and enjoy the time I have while I'm outside, and let Rain relax a little in the sun (or the cloudy air, if its overcast). Then, I'm back home.

And, after I do homework, check Facebook and my blog and everything else, I might m-shift, then climb into bed, and fall asleep. Then I'll wake up, and do it all over again.