So, I haven't posted in a while, but I figure that the day-to-day life of a therian is...rather normal. I mean, yeah we have phantom limbs and have odd thought-processes, but usually nothing out of the ordinary happens every single day. So, I am now going to write about things that happen and more experiences than "well, today I had a turkey sandwich for lunch and a MATH TEST!" 'Cause, quite frankly, that's really boring.
(Long post, INCOMING!)
But, something did happen last Tuesday that I forgot to write about. And it's been nagging at the back of my mind since then. So, maybe writing it down will help. Quick question: if you've ever seen a fight (or, more specific to this experience I'm about to tell, someone beating up someone else) does it make your therioside weird out? I'll explain in my story here.
Last Tuesday, in my Agriculture (Ag for short) class there was some major issues that definately should not have happened. Alright, so apparently this girl, we'll call her Sally, was friends with let's say Jane. However, Jane was merely using Sally to get things (clothes, food, shopping sprees, car rides). One day, Sally's mom buys Jane a really nice pair of boots. Jane, however, refuses to pay Sally's mom back. So, Sally decides that she doesn't want to be friends with Jane.
And Jane is the kind of person who will stab your back in a heartbeat. Jane is also friends with a girl named Mary. One day, Mary leaves her own boots (not the same pair that Jane has) in the bathroom by the Ag room. Jane, being the cruel female dog that she is, tells Mary that she saw Sally steal them. So, Mary decides to come to our Ag class and wait for an opportunity to get her boots back. In the meanest way possible.
For about a week, Mary was sneaking out of her own class and into our Ag class. Our teacher, Mr. Limes, doesn't really care (we NEVER do anything in that class except play cards). On Tuesday, Mr. Limes was absent and we had a sub. A short, soft-spoken, quiet little sub. And Mary siezed this opportunity like a hawk with a field mouse.
We were watching a movie (about pigs...?) and all of a sudden, Mary stands up and starts calling over to Sally (who was sitting in front of me), saying "Sally! Jane wants to talk to you! Sally, come here!" and Sally doesn't reply. So my friend, Barbara, tells her "Oh, hey, they want you." But Sally replies with "I'm ignoring them." Barbara and I shrug and try to go back to the movie, but Mary keeps yelling over the movie's narrator. So, Barbara asks her very nicely to sit down and be quiet. This, however, sets Mary off.
Mary starts saying (profanity, incoming) "Well that f**'n bitch stole my boots and I'll beat her f***'n ass!" and stuff like this. Barbara says, really calmly, "Ok, look, just settle down. Fighting is no way to solve things." but Mary keeps flipping crap and and turns on me and my group, yelling "I'll beat all of your f**'n asses, right now! You hear me? You're all just a bunch of *insert town name here* bitches!" Then, Mary walks over and is standing right behind me. By now, I'm all prepared for a fight to break out. And when you stand behind a therian who is so close to m-shifting, you're bound to get bit. I, however, don't do this.
I whisper to Barbara "Should I move?" and she kinda giggles and says "Uh, yeah." Mary thinks she's laughing at her, and is all, "You think this is funny?!" which sets off Mary even further. The sub, the whole time, is practically on her hands and knees begging for Mary to just sit down. Mary moves a little back to her original seat, but then turns back and shouts, "No! Imma kill this f**'n bitch right now!" and she turns on her heel and starts pounding into Sally's face.
Now, our school has a "No tolerance policy", meaning that if you fight back, you're in just as much trouble as the instigator. So, all Sally can do is go into a fetal position in her desk. She tries to hide her face in her hands, but everytime she does, Mary yanks on her hair, causing Sally to look up. Mary then punches her exposed face several times. This happens quite frequently and rapidly. No one moves the whole time; we're all too stunned.
The sub runs and gets a male teacher named Mr. Earwig. He fends off Mary, but Mary somehow wiggles out of his grip and shoves Sally out of her desk, hard. Mr. Earwig gets a better grip on Mary, much like he was bearhugging her arms behind her back. As he's hauling her off, she's still trying to get at Sally. Finally, once everything was over, the room goes eerily still. Barbara helps Sally to the nurse (she got a black eye. I'm still surprised her nose didn't bleed).
The whole time, all of my shifts were full blast. Mental, phantom, I think aura (when your own aura takes the form of your therioside) shifts were all happening. If therians could physically shift, I think I would have. My ears were burning, everytime I tried to talk, my diaphragm tightened, making my words come out kinda bark-ish. My neck and shoulders had the tingling sensation of phantom fur standing on end. I think my eyes were dialated, as well. Through the whole thing, I was fiercely resisting the urge to snarl and go for Mary's throat. I'm both glad and upset that I didn't attack Mary. Had I attacked her, I probably would have succumbed to the wolf and lock-jawed onto her throat. Which would tack on "murder" and "assault" to my record. And probably freak everyone out.
So, the story poses a strong question: when fights or attacks happen, do you shift? Do you have the urge to do something? Do you want to help one person or help attack the weakling?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
My Typical Day
Before any alarm reaches my ears, a very ansy canine is mentally pacing in my brain. She wakes up before the sun or my alarm and paces. Sometimes (like when I first awakened) she'll bark and when it's really important that I wake up, she'll howl. So, at 5 minutes before my alarm buzzes, I'll be awake and finding clothes for the day. I usually end up m-shifting (that's a shortened way to write 'mental shift') at night, and so in the morning, all my senses are buzzing. The eerie silence of my house, the smells that are being woken up as I move about the rooms, my eyes finding my way in the dark.
Rain will not calm down until I am fully awake and have eaten. She'll pace madly, then flash images in my head of deer and the woods and running. I'll sate her with cereal (though she's flashed images of bacon or sausage or a still-squirming deer, because cereal is gross to her) and continue on with my daily routine. Make my lunch, brush my hair, brush my teeth, then stumble out the door into the cold, dark mornings. That's when Rain is the happiest. Out in the quiet morning air. The sleepy time between 4 and 7 AM. Because the humans aren't motoring along and rushing off to meetings or McDonald's. She barely resists the bus (the only resentment is from the noise, is what I have gleaned from the images and mental noises). However, once we've arrived at school, things change.
You can't will away your therioside. Your wolf or tiger or bear or kitten or fish or beetle stays with you. Though I've named my wolf-side, technically, your animal-side is you. However, I've come to think of myself as two in one. Granted, it's my viewpoint, and I'm not saying it's the absolute norm or rule. Just remember, a therian's therioside stays with them.
And so, naturally, at school, Rain is with me. Fighting tooth and nail to leave. If it's a rough day, I'll m-shift. The giggling will sound like disgusting cackling. Their makeup is caked grossly onto their faces, while too-red lips draw back into a bared-tooth snarl. Their speech is bothersome. They ask a question, and prompt a response, even though my body has given them one. A flick of the ear, a twitch of the tail, a shift of my eyebrows. But they don't see and I must answer with words.
On alright days, Rain's fleeting urges are suppressed. They're still there, haunting my thoughts, but I can ignore them. On days like today, we're in harmony. I can convince her to relax, and she'll lapse into a state of mental rest. Some days, I really wish I could just be completely wolf. But I can't because the woods near my house have a pathway run right through them, where people jog or walk their dogs frequently. So, I have to make due with m-shifting in my bedroom.
Rain will also relax around my "pack". My two best friends, who I can count on for anything. They make the wolf in me practically sing with joy when I'm with them. My one friend calls me the alpha, however, I really don't like that title. Sure, most of our get togethers are at my house, and they come to me for advice, but I've never controlled their lives or bossed them around. Rain doesn't mind this so much, simply because she sees the two as my "betas", and not as weaker or lesser beings. (Yes, certain humans make me want to pin them down and nip their neck, they're so disrespectful).
So, once I've finished for the day, gone to my classes, loaded back up on the yellow noise-machine, Rain is either exhausted or ansy all over again. So, I walk from my bus stop back home, and enjoy the time I have while I'm outside, and let Rain relax a little in the sun (or the cloudy air, if its overcast). Then, I'm back home.
And, after I do homework, check Facebook and my blog and everything else, I might m-shift, then climb into bed, and fall asleep. Then I'll wake up, and do it all over again.
Rain will not calm down until I am fully awake and have eaten. She'll pace madly, then flash images in my head of deer and the woods and running. I'll sate her with cereal (though she's flashed images of bacon or sausage or a still-squirming deer, because cereal is gross to her) and continue on with my daily routine. Make my lunch, brush my hair, brush my teeth, then stumble out the door into the cold, dark mornings. That's when Rain is the happiest. Out in the quiet morning air. The sleepy time between 4 and 7 AM. Because the humans aren't motoring along and rushing off to meetings or McDonald's. She barely resists the bus (the only resentment is from the noise, is what I have gleaned from the images and mental noises). However, once we've arrived at school, things change.
You can't will away your therioside. Your wolf or tiger or bear or kitten or fish or beetle stays with you. Though I've named my wolf-side, technically, your animal-side is you. However, I've come to think of myself as two in one. Granted, it's my viewpoint, and I'm not saying it's the absolute norm or rule. Just remember, a therian's therioside stays with them.
And so, naturally, at school, Rain is with me. Fighting tooth and nail to leave. If it's a rough day, I'll m-shift. The giggling will sound like disgusting cackling. Their makeup is caked grossly onto their faces, while too-red lips draw back into a bared-tooth snarl. Their speech is bothersome. They ask a question, and prompt a response, even though my body has given them one. A flick of the ear, a twitch of the tail, a shift of my eyebrows. But they don't see and I must answer with words.
On alright days, Rain's fleeting urges are suppressed. They're still there, haunting my thoughts, but I can ignore them. On days like today, we're in harmony. I can convince her to relax, and she'll lapse into a state of mental rest. Some days, I really wish I could just be completely wolf. But I can't because the woods near my house have a pathway run right through them, where people jog or walk their dogs frequently. So, I have to make due with m-shifting in my bedroom.
Rain will also relax around my "pack". My two best friends, who I can count on for anything. They make the wolf in me practically sing with joy when I'm with them. My one friend calls me the alpha, however, I really don't like that title. Sure, most of our get togethers are at my house, and they come to me for advice, but I've never controlled their lives or bossed them around. Rain doesn't mind this so much, simply because she sees the two as my "betas", and not as weaker or lesser beings. (Yes, certain humans make me want to pin them down and nip their neck, they're so disrespectful).
So, once I've finished for the day, gone to my classes, loaded back up on the yellow noise-machine, Rain is either exhausted or ansy all over again. So, I walk from my bus stop back home, and enjoy the time I have while I'm outside, and let Rain relax a little in the sun (or the cloudy air, if its overcast). Then, I'm back home.
And, after I do homework, check Facebook and my blog and everything else, I might m-shift, then climb into bed, and fall asleep. Then I'll wake up, and do it all over again.
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